...Stage Struck (1958)

Susan Strasberg gives a cringe-inducing performance of the likes rarely seen in the otherwise midly interesting theatrical rags-to-riches story, Stage Struck. Everything surrounding her performance might have made for a better picture had a different actress been cast as the central character (although I knew it was going to be bad when they handed her a pin wheel in Times Square during the credits). Henry Fonda, Christopher Plummer, Herbert Marshall and director Sidney Lumet try but not even the New York City photography belies Strasberg's left-field caricature of Katherine Hepburn or the age of this story - which I found out halfway through my viewing was Katherine Hepburn's 1933 vehicle, Morning Glory.

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...The Reaping (2007)

The Reaping starts out religiously enough but with ten plagues to squeeze into the story it becomes overburdened by the sheer weight of the undertaking. I do like Hilary Swank best in her populous roles (of which this i one) and she looks phenomenal throughout. Not much else of note though.

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...A Star is Born (1954)

A Star is Born is an absolutely perfect musical drama starring Judy Garland as an amalgam of Esther Blodgett, Vicki Lester and...um...Judy Garland. She, as well as the music, the script, James Mason, and George Cukor, are phenomenal. This is one movie I can't write about in three grammatically correct sentences so take a look at the artistry that is A Star is Born and see for yourself.

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...Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

I called my mother who told me she had just started watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Fifteen or so minutes into our conversation she said, "Ugh, I don't have to see these sex scenes." Well, the acrobatic sex scenes she was referring to are funny and the whole movie is very charming, resting primarily on the shoulders of actor/screenwriter Jason Segel (although having Kristin Bell doesn't hurt nor does Mila Kunis nor does the British comic guy).

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...Marty (1955)

Marty is a day in the life of two dogs that ain't such dogs as they think they are. Academy Award winner Ernest Borgnine and Betsy Blair are sweetly touching in this honest and romantic story of their search for love in spite of self-perceived limitations. Not to be too trite but, they don't make 'em like this anymore.

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...The Cheat (1915)

Fannie Ward turns from Doris Day to Angelina Jolie (and back again with innocence intact) when she becomes The Cheat in this silent film. Like most films of the 1910s, this one is over-dressed and over-acted although, in its defense, it stars an Asian man, Sessue Hayakawa, who brands a Caucasian woman with a hot poker who herself rips off her clothes in the climactic courtroom scene - not too common occurrences in films of the time. Still it gets bogged down in histrionics and becomes more of a curio (Cecil B. DeMille's second film) than a film worth its salt.

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...Next Stop Greenwich Village (1976)

Overlong and a bit too precious (particularly when its characters act and dance through the streets of New York City), Next Stop Greenwich Village is writer/director Paul Mazursky's cinematic ode to his own formative story. Unfortunately Lenny Baker's characterization as the lead belies his theatrical roots with histrionics; his performance would come through better in a campy, silent film. The supporting ladies (Shelley Winters, Ellen Greene, Dori Brenner and Lois Smith) and gents (Christopher Walken and Antonio Fargas) fare best and hold viewer interest on their own but it was supposed to be about Larry Lapinsky, right?

...Stonewall (1995)

Stonewall has its heart in the right place which always makes for good viewing. It tells the story of the riot at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, 1969 through the eyes of some well-thought out fictional characters. Excellent acting and great period music add to an engrossing watch which also does well in placing the anointed start of the gay rights movement in historical context.

...I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

I Spit On Your Grave (initially and currently - but not inbetween - called The Day of the Woman) is not a comfortable movie to watch. Fortunately, its unflinchingly long and graphic rape scene is bested by the scenes of revenge that follow. Its by then that you realize where director Meir Zarchi's sympathies lie and you can relax and enjoy the...um...day of the woman.

...Isn't She Great? (2000)

Isn't that Bette Midler talking to a tree? Isn't that Nathan Lane with her? Isn't Isn't She Great, purporting to be the life of author Jacqueline Susann, just a really poor mashup of The First Wives Club and Beaches that Bette and Nathan (but not Stockard Channing) should be ashamed of?

...The Dead Girl (2006)

The Dead Girl is the multi-layered story of circumstances surrounding the discovery of the titular corpse. An excellent cast (including Toni Collette, Piper Laurie, Mary Steenburgen, Nick Searcy, Mary Beth Hurt, Giovanni Ribisi, Josh Brolin, Kerry Washington, Robin Byrne, and many more) act the hell out of writer/director Karen Moncrieff's script of five vignettes that unfold the crime. It's not an easy watch (and I also mean that literally as the film is not lit brightly) but it is fascinating.

...Doomsday (2008)

Take the virus from 28 Days Later, add costumes from the Mad Max trilogy, hire Rhona Mitra to emulate the feminism of Silent Hill, stir in music that would not have been out of place in Urgh! A Music War, pay writer/director Neil Marshall (the auteur of The Descent and Dog Soldiers) and you get Doomsday, a seemingly plagiarized tale of Great Britain's struggle to overcome a doomsday virus. The movie is violently exciting with enough thrills to hold interest but it is difficult to classify it as original. It's a Neil Marshall film but without the smarts of his others.

...Celebrity (1998)

In Celebrity, Woody Allen continues his reinvention as a young goy with Kenneth Branagh taking on the writer/director's eccentricities without a hint of nuance or shame. Even the most interesting scene between Judy Davis and Bebe Neuwirth as an uptight New Yorker and her hooker/sex teacher (guess who played who) seems poorly directed and photographed. The story concerns a bunch of celebrities and hangers-on in New York City which, in the end, feels presumptuous, pretentious and predictable.

...Catch Me If You Can (2002)

There is not one character with a redeeming quality in Catch Me If You Can which is why I initially wasn't enthralled by it; then I noticed a bunch of filmmaker flubs and watched a number of well paid actors acting sub par (excluding Christopher Walken) which was really annoying. Steven Spielberg is not the most original filmmaker and the way he films this story seems almost like a throwaway. Certainly in light of today's economic crisis (and con man Bernie Madoff) I can't imagine anyone thinking this is an enjoyable movie to sit through.

...Carmen Jones (1954)

Oscar Hammerstein II took the music from Bizet's classic opera Carmen, added his own lyrics, rewrote the book (transporting the story to Louisiana in the 1950s) and came up with a pastiche called Carmen Jones. Otto Preminger filmed the musical redux with singer/actors Harry Belafonte and Dorothy Dandridge in the lead roles only to have them dubbed by two white singers with a more operatic range. All of this stitching is very present in the movie which feels listless, has less than memorable songs and, despite a sultry performance by the aforementioned Dandridge and a funky one by Pearl Bailey, ended up putting me to sleep.

...Psycho II (1983)

When the first few minutes of Psycho II turned out to be the shower scene from the original classic, I expected trouble. What I got was a tensionless movie that was somewhat interesting but whose first major twist was predictable and the later sub-turns not enough to keep the story moving forward. The ending though is perfect.

...The Departed (2006)

The Departed is much ado about a micro processor that will blow a missile up a camel's ass. A lot of well-received actors earn their paychecks but it's been done before and done better. Director Martin Scorcese won the Academy Award, et. al. for this film but it was most likely for his long and prestigious career and not this standard cop movie with way too many Boston accents per screen time.

...Can't Stop the Music (1980)

Can't Stop the Music might have been a fun, bad cult film had the editor cut a half hour off of the film's running time. At over two hours, it is just too long to be anything but tired. But there is a great scene put together for the Village People's huge hit YMCA that does make a portion of the film worth a look.

...Dragonwyck (1946)

Gene Tierney doesn't so much as emote in Dragonwyck as rest her performance on those famous cheekbones. Fortunately, she gets excellent support from an eerily, young Vincent Price and an amazingly sinister Spring Byington(!?) in this middling tale of a second wife in a huge mansion home (a la Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca). But when Byington inexplicably disappears halfway through the movie (along with another character), the plot takes a U-turn allowing Price to turn up the heat on the creep.

...Shutter (2008)

Shutter is another English language remake of another Japanese ghost story. It is also a one-trick pony - no scares and no thrills but enough of a curiosity factor to make me stick around until it ended, interestingly enough I might add. Unfortunately it was not in time to counteract the boredom.

...Jurassic Park (1993)

Despite the excellent dinosaur effects, Jurassic Park is a kid movie. Villains are bad and heroes are good, kids are in peril, Laura Dern is mom-like and Richard Attenborough is a worse actor here than he was a director here. In fact, when the movie began I had to start it over because I thought I had started it in the middle; no one ever accused Steven Spielberg of subtlety.

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...The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)

The Hills Have Eyes II is another mutant cannibals massacre film with a lot of blood and guts and real cringe-inducing scenes (from the first frame!) But the soldiers being hunted were stupid and not worth caring about making the whole thing leave a bad taste in my mouth (despite, or maybe because of, original The Hills Have Eyes writer/director Wes Carven's involvement.) And that's hard to do.

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...Six Degrees of Separation (1993)

Stage bound and talky, Six Degrees of Separation is not - to put it mildly - an exciting movie. Stockard Channing and Donald Sutherland are dull as dishwater, their on-screen children abhorrent, and Will Smith (playing an actor playing a gay male) seems out-of-place. The movie is set in a New York that I don't know but supposedly exists; to tell the truth, I could care less.

...Rhinestone (1984)

The saving grace in Rhinestone are the clips, here and there, in which you see and hear Dolly Parton singing and strumming her guitar. The script, designed to mirror the hit song Rhinestone Cowboy (which is not even used in the movie), is just a sea of caricatures with Sylvester Stallone screeching Medusa-like in any number of shitatious scenes. The movie is strictly for Dolly Parton completists (especially those who want to see La Parton kiss a man) or terrorist torture.

...Miss Congeniality (2000)

Miss Congeniality is a sweet confection reminiscent of Goldie Hawn circa Private Benjamin - not surprising as director Donald Petrie was schooled as a Hawn director. Sandra Bullock takes the Hawn role as both producer and lead and comes off a shining star. An able supporting cast (Michael Caine, Benjamin Bratt, Candice Bergen) adds to the fun despite the ending's err on the side of predictability.